Penny Casselman:
What if resilience isn't about pushing through.
Penny Casselman:
But about knowing when to hit pause? In this episode, I share a powerful red marker moment that I have recently chosen and in turn, turned my life upside down. And the surprising truth that I learned about resilience is in the process. If you have been feeling stuck, frustrated, or stagnant, this episode will remind you that resilience is about alignment, trust, and choosing yourself.
Penny Casselman:
Welcome to the Pivot With Passion podcast. Hi, I'm Penny Casselman. I believe everyone is deserving of a phenomenal life. Regardless of where you came from, life is what you make of it. And when you learn to pivot with passion, your world explodes with opportunities. Go grab your favorite beverage and let's shake things up as we explore how to pivot with passion.
Penny Casselman:
Hello, Director. I have not said those words in months, and oh, how I have missed saying them. It feels so good to be back with you here on the Pivot with Passion podcast. Yes, you may have noticed I took a break. The last time we connected was in May of this year. And a lot, a lot has happened since then. In early June, I chose to experience a red marker moment. And the important thing here is I.
Penny Casselman:
Chose to do this.
Penny Casselman:
And the choice that I made completely turned my life upside down and forced me to stop settling for fine.
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Within a week of declaring a red marker moment, my life looked completely different. And at the time, I don't think I realized the impact that that choice was going to have on my mental, my emotional and my physical being. And that's what I want to talk to you about today, is simply the process that I went through. In navigating such a massive red marker moment in my life, I learned something powerful about resilience.
Penny Casselman:
For years, I thought resilience meant pushing.
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Through no matter what.
Penny Casselman:
And maybe you have had those same thoughts. If I'm going to be resilient, I have to keep marching forward. I have to encounter any setback, any speed bump in my life and keep moving forward, no matter what. And here is my challenge and my invitation to you as we go through this episode. What if true resilience means knowing when to pause, when to breathe, when to realign, and when to give yourself the grace you deserve. Let me take you back to June. When everything shifted for me, I was having a conversation with a very dear friend, a very close friend, and as I was lamenting about the state of my life and the state of my relationships and the state of my reality, really, she listened and after a long pause, said this to me. Penny, have you ever thought that maybe.
Penny Casselman:
The reason that some of these things are not going the way you had anticipated is because somewhere in your life you are settling for fine? Let me tell you, that comment from her hit me between the eyes. Now, to be fair, she had probably told me this numerous times before, but if you've ever heard that idea that someone needs to hear something 7, 15, 20 times before they are ready to take action or before they are ready to hear what is being said, that was the moment, the time that my brain, my being, was ready to hear those words from a trusted friend and really embrace it and choose to have a red marker moment because of it. After she and I hung up the phone, I did deeply think about her words for the next 24 hours and I was forced to come to the conclusion that she was absolutely right. I had been settling for fine for far too long in my life, and when I looked around, the life that I had built looked nothing like what I had hoped for at this stage in my life.
Penny Casselman:
Now, to be fair, there was nothing.
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Horrible about my life. I was content. I was tolerating things.
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I was looking around and saying, it's okay, everything is just fine. But within a week, after acknowledging what my friend said, I said goodbye to a relationship, goodbye to a house that I had poured so much DIY into, made so many memories in. I was surrounded by so many amazing neighbors and quickly had to find a new place to live and learn to once again navigate how do you go about the world as a single person? Yet what I found was as I was going through the releasing process, I had to release the relationship, release my attachment to the house, release my fear of moving through the world again by myself. Did I start to get excited and embrace the vision I had always held for my future?
Penny Casselman:
Now, in the middle of all of this chaos that I kicked off, I sent a note to my business coach because again, coaches have coaches. I'm a firm believer that there's nothing in this world that we do alone. And if we want to level up, grow, pivot, evolve, we always bring someone along with us. Stepping off my soapbox. But during all of this chaos, I kept meeting with my business coach until I had to hit pause. And in essence, I sent him an email that pretty much boiled down to I need to hit pause. I did not realize the mental, emotional and physical toll this red marker moment was going to have on me and that the phrase that I shared with him, I said, I wish I was as resilient as everyone seems to believe. That I am.
Penny Casselman:
And there it was. I felt like a failure in asking for a pause because I wasn't able to push through because I couldn't keep going. I did not want to repeat the burnout that I had felt in corporate America. And I was right on the verge of having that happen now. My coach was so gracious and said, penny, you know best, but let this be the pause that you need. Ten days after sending that email to.
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My coach, I was out taking a walk.
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And it dawned on me that what was I thinking?
Penny Casselman:
I was resilient af. I had not been taking care of myself, mentally or physically in weeks since declaring my red marker moment. I let some of those self care.
Penny Casselman:
Things fall to the wayside. I let some of my boundaries slip.
Penny Casselman:
And I knew while I was taking that walk, I wasn't giving up. But I needed to honor the pause that everything my intuition was telling me that I needed and my coach gave me that grace. And for that I will always be grateful to him. Now, as I sat in the middle of all of that change, I realized again that I had been confusing resilience with pushing through. But Director, resilience is not about white knuckling through life. It's about alignment. And the best way that I can describe this alignment is is think of resilience like a bow and arrow. To launch forward, you first have to pull back, then pause.
Penny Casselman:
That moment of tension, that moment when you are on the precipice of letting go, you are taking aim, you are focused. That pause isn't weakness. That pause is necessary because that pause is what gives you the strength and the direction to soar. Just like that arrow. As an archer pulls back pauses, they gather all of their senses, their awareness as to where they're going to go. But that pause is so crucial before they let go and move forward with intention and accuracy. That perspective really helped me see resilience in a different light.
Penny Casselman:
It's time for a clarity cocktail. Resilience is knowing that you are the only one that has the power and the responsibility to pick yourself up. Mary Holloway.
Penny Casselman:
That is so true.
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When I was at that fork in.
Penny Casselman:
The road, when I could see clearly that I had two paths forward, one was to continue to settle for fine, to continue going down the path that I was on versus choosing the schedule scary path that I could see the end to. But it was going to be one heck of a messy middle. And standing at that fork in the road, the only person who could make the choice to pick the quote scary path was me. I was the only person who had the power to make that choice. And in doing so, I had to assume the responsibility to have the commitment, have the belief in myself that I was going to have to take action. That was going to be difficult, make no mistake, and hold the vision of the future that I knew I was worthy of. But it was going to take work, belief, lots of action and persistence.
Penny Casselman:
And so I would challenge you. Where are you in your life right now? Where this quote could shift your perspective.
Penny Casselman:
Could make you take a second look.
Penny Casselman:
At something so that you could declare a red marker moment for yourself. And by no means does it have to be something so grand. What I like in my red marker moment too, is that I pulled the pin on the grenade that was my life. Because the minute I pulled the pin and let their grenade go, everything in my life shifted. And I knew I was going to be the only person who had the responsibility to pick myself up, hold the vision, believe in myself, and take massive action. Where might you be settling? Where might you need to find, dig in and embrace resilience in your own life? I think so many of us get resilience wrong. We think it means soldiering on even if it costs us our peace, our energy, our joy. But that's not resilience, that's burnout.
Penny Casselman:
And director, you deserve to protect your peace, your energy and your joy as you navigate and create your phenomenal life. Here's the quote again. Resilience is knowing that you are the only one that has the power and the responsibility to pick yourself up. Mary Holloway. And now back to the episode. Cheers. Circling back to this idea that resilience.
Penny Casselman:
Isn'T about pushing through, but about knowing when to pause and honor where you're at. So that, like the archer, you can.
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Use that pause before jumping into action to take aim. Get clear.
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Too often we wear ourselves out trying to meet expectations. Whether that's our expectations or expectations from others. We can confuse being constantly busy with being strong. And let me say that again, we confuse being constantly busy with being strong. But real resilience doesn't look like grinding yourself into the ground. And again, hand raised, been there, done that way, not fun under any circumstances. What does resilience really look like? I'm going to share four ways that I've been redefining it for myself. And I would invite you to think about these four things and how they apply to your life.
Penny Casselman:
The first way is honor the pause. And that simply means give yourself permission to step back without guilt. In my situation, I kept pushing, pushing Until I recognized that I had been pushing too hard. And after years of personal development, the one thing I am thankful for is that I can see outside of myself when I know I'm starting down the wrong path. That does not mean that I don't still succumb to. To pushing longer than I should. But the minute I identified that I was going down the path of burnout is when I gave myself permission to.
Penny Casselman:
Step back without guilt.
Penny Casselman:
So honor the pause.
Penny Casselman:
Number two, Redefine resilience. There is no weakness when you hit pause. Hitting pause is wisdom.
Penny Casselman:
And in my example that I just.
Penny Casselman:
Shared, yes, I was moving forward at such a breakneck speed in trying to adapt and embrace and create this entirely new reality for myself that I had not realized that in order to be resilient, it's okay to hit pause because that's wisdom stepping in to allow the past parts of me to catch up with where I was headed. Just like that pause with the Archer. The third thing is hold the vision. Even when you hit pause, your future self doesn't disappear. My future self was still waiting for me when I had honored the pause and took that time to refocus, to.
Penny Casselman:
Recommit, and to redefine what it is I was going after, which simply generated excitement for my future. And when you have excitement at your back, talk about finding momentum to move you forward. Nothing like it. And number four is small actions count. Resilience is all about alignment, not speed. As I was starting to pick back up again and move forward, I wasn't holding myself to a to do list that was a mile long and going after check marks. No, I was looking at that to.
Penny Casselman:
Do list and making sure that all.
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Of the things that I knew needed to be done were actually in alignment with what I was going after. And once I had refocused and found my vision and knew that I was.
Penny Casselman:
Ready to take action and that whatever.
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Was gonna come my way, I could.
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Figure out then I could take that.
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First meaningful step when I was ready.
Penny Casselman:
To go after the future I was worthy of having. So, to quickly recap, the four ways that I've been redefining resilience is this. One, honor the pause. Two, redefine what resilience is. Three, hold the vision. And four, remember that small actions count. Because at the end of the day, resilience isn't about speed or stamina. It's about trust.
Penny Casselman:
It's about trusting yourself to pause, trusting that the vision you have is still alive, and trusting that on the other side, you will come out Stronger Director As I sit here today, one month into my new chapter, I know this resilience doesn't mean muscling through at all costs. It means choosing yourself, honoring the pauses, and holding on to the vision of the life you know you're worthy of. And Director, if you have been feeling stuck, frustrated, stagnant as you sit around and look at your reality, let this be your sign. It is time to pivot with passion and create the phenomenal life that you are worthy of that is simply waiting for you to pick up a red marker to make that choice. And I would love to help you map out that next step in the show. Notes There will be a link for you to book a strategy session with me and together we'll unlock what's possible for you. I have seen and lived through so many iterations of my life so many times where I chose to pick up a red marker and alter the trajectory of my life. I would be honored to help coach you through that same process to come out on the other side of your life stronger, more excited, and more alive.
Penny Casselman:
Until next time, Director Remember, resilience isn't about never stopping. It's about coming back stronger, clearer, and more passionate than ever.
Penny Casselman:
Friend, thanks for listening to this episode of Pivot With Passion. If you've been feeling stuck, exhausted or frustrated, this is your permission slip to.
Penny Casselman:
Go grab a red marker and claim.
Penny Casselman:
The life you desire and deserve. If you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend and then hop over to rate and review the show on Apple Podcast. Because my goal is to put a red marker in everyone's hand and I need your help to spread the word and make that happen. Until the next episode, go grab a red marker, get excited for your future, and make your first move to pivot with Passion.
